How counting to six improves your prospects

You’ll know from previous articles that asking questions and listening to answers are two of the most powerful tools in the consultant's kitbag. Here are four micro-skills for improving your performance:

1. Once you've asked a question stay silent. Count to six before speaking. The prospect almost always breaks the silence and reveals more details.
2. It’s easy to get prospects to go deeper into their initial answers. Simply repeat the last couple of words they say. Use an upward inflection (like a self-doubting teenager) to turn their statement into a question.
3. From time to time you’ll catch yourself about to take the conversation away from the prospect. When this happens put the tip of your tongue against your front teeth.
4. Summarise what the prospect has told you before making any statements.

You can try these micro-skills for yourself next time you’re in a conversation. Here’s an example of what you might expect.

Consultant: Do you have an example of this type of micro-behaviour?

Prospect: Yes. When I’m about to interrupt I put the tip of my tongue against my front teeth.

Consultant: Your front teeth?

Prospect: Yes, it stops me speaking and acts as a reminder to listen for a while longer.

Consultant. Acts as a reminder?

Prospect: To stay quiet and let the other person finish speaking. Not to disturb their train of thought.

Consultant: I see. So you find that putting your tongue against your front teeth acts as a reminder to let the other person finish speaking. By staying quiet you don’t disturb their train of thought. Is that right?

Prospect: Yes that’s it.

Consultant: That sounds like a skill worth practicing. How often do you uncover something you weren’t expecting when you listen like that?

Prospect: Pretty often.

Consultant: [six second silence … 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 …]

Prospect: That’s what I want your help with. My team are talking over each other a lot during meetings. I think we’re losing a lot of ideas. I want someone to design a workshop where we can practice these micro-skills together.

As you can see from this example it is simple, although not necessarily easy. Try it for yourself and let me know how you get on.