Maximum Attention

I remember walking out of a meeting thinking I’d done a good job. I persuaded, got my points across, and people seemed to agree.

But afterwards my boss took me to one side and told me, “You weren’t really paying attention in there Clive, you can do better than that.” And she was right, I couldn’t properly repeat what the client had said. Something about timelines being off, but not much more than that. What I did remember was everything I’d been preparing to say while they were talking!

I wasn’t paying attention. I was just waiting for my turn to speak. Meaning I was preparing to interrupt them and prove how smart I was.

Ouch!

As a result, in the next meeting, I tried to ease off a bit and said a lot less. I followed what people were saying and asked more questions - instead of jumping ahead. But I still caught myself in persuasion mode a few times and I even cut someone off at one point.

But at least I noticed, which hadn’t been happening before. Since then, I check my recollection after most meetings.

"How well was I actually listening?"

And, if my attention was off, I have a fix. Something you can try too:

Hold back a bit next time.
Let people finish properly.
Be interested in what they say.

Most importantly, notice when you start rehearsing what you’re going to say next and drop it. While none of this is dramatic advice, but it will change how a conversation feels for the client.

And you miss less, clients open up more, and their perspective makes much more sense.